The Nice Guy

Tiffany
Adventure #6 Why do I give the nice guy the cold shoulder?
Current book reading: He’s just not that Into You
Dating Advice being put to the test: He's not into you if he's not calling you.
Dating Resolution: Say yes.....even if I think they're too nice

Ok, so I am guilty of turning down a guy who has seemed interested in dating me because I think that he is too nice. I freeze up and become uncertain if I would want to be in a relationship with him, so I do not even give them an opportunity (I know I know, its just one date). I am pretty sure that I am done with my bad boy stage but, still want someone assertive. The problem I think I have with dating this type of man is that I think I would wear the pants in the relationship and that I could so to speak walk all over him. The important thing is that I wouldn't and that I would be respectful of him in the relationship. As I expressed this concern to a co-worker she had these words of wisdom, "Do not mistake nice for wimpy". Besides who is too nice anyways? We really DO want to end up with the nice guy. Current nice guy pursuing me: Tonka. I meet him at a singles conference during a round of speed dating. Chemistry was moderate but we had good conversation and followed up with going out with a group for ice cream. While my initial attraction was to his friend nothing became of it. Tonka on the other hand made the effort to friend request me on Facebook. So to reward him for making an effort and encourage continued interaction I wrote him a small note about a trip he was on. He quickly replied privately giving me more details on his trip. To encourage further communication I wrote back to tell him I would love to hear more. Two days later he initiated a chat conversation with me about his trip. I was surprised as to how easy it was to chat with him. Before reading the self help books I would freak out and be like ewww he likes me and I don’t know how I feel about him…SHUT IT DOWN! With my new realization that he IS “calling me”, which according to the book means he is interested and, in dating that is half the battle, than I should not run away from the opportunity. I need to stop putting effort into the guys who are not pursuing me and focus on those who are. So with my resolve to give the nice guy a chance and to be more encouraging of men pursuing woman I am having fun with Tonka and hopeful that he will in the future ask me out on a fun date.

Daydreaming for now
Tiffany A. Catch