Bon Voyage

The Last entry that I left, Sparky and I were back together, all the game playing seemed to be in the past, and our time to be together had finally come. Since I had been burned by him in the past I took a back seat and let him pursue me...which he did. He initiated conversation everyday, he told me what a great team we made, he told me he wanted me to move out to be close to him, told me that marriage and family were most important to him in life now, and he invited me out to visit him. I never once brought up these topics since in the past I had told him that I was looking for a committed relationship, and if that wasn’t what he was looking for to leave me alone.
Sparky had invited me out to spend a long weekend with him and I was thrilled! Since I had told him my position and he was the one telling me all these things, was I to believe that after traveling thousands of miles our relationship would move forward? His sister had come over to visit and even told me that it was likely we would get married…..not that I was expecting a proposal by any means but at least a conversation about us and the real possibility of our future.

Prior to my departure Sparky took a trip to New York two weeks before my arrival and could not stop raving about how much fun he had and how he could not wait to go back. By the time I arrived for my visit it was too late. The window of opportunity was closed, and he was no longer talking about white picket fences and kids in the yard. Instead he was allured by the bright city lights of New York and contemplating putting in a transfer there. While he raved about all the new people you can meet and the ability to sit down to have pizza at 4 a.m. in the city...my heart sunk. Why did I think this time would be different? Hadn’t he done this to me before? So close to being together and taking that next step when instead he sees what appears to be greener pastures.

Here I was all by myself, thousands of miles away from home, and still a long weekend to spend with Sparky. Luckily my phone didn’t work because had I been able to call anyone the tears would have started flowing and who knows if they would have been able to stop. The worst part is that we had SO much fun together! We had great conversation, comfortable silence, laughter, and that feeling of just being with someone who gets you.

The second I got off the plane and called my mom the tears just started flowing. Why had he invited me out? Why had he led me on? Why did it hurt worse this time? He had done it twice before, but this time I really let myself fall. Well one thing was for sure...we would NEVER be together. Now I will never wonder what if.

I should have learned from the first time that he would only repeat this pattern. The lesson learned through this is that guys do not change and the third time is NOT the charm. BON VOYAGE Sparky.